More stolen phone poetry

While chatting online, a friend asked me about my stolen phone (taken from the ladies’ toilet), and said, “that person who took it! may she get constipation!”
I responded:

may she have alternating days of diarrhoea and constipation!

My friend responded with laughter. I continued…

may she be stuck in the toilet with cramps, diarrhoea, heavy flow and NO TOILET PAPER!!!!
and … may she get rash on her face, where she touches my stolen phone!!!!

At which point my friend went, “Enough!”. But I had to say one more thing:

may she have nightmares of my pointy stylus poking her eyeballs out!!! hearrgghgh!


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