Saying no has been a resolution of mine that I still feel bad doing. Yet, this ability frees people up and allows the requestor to look for alternatives.
In fact, I think I should say No more often, for any of the following reasons:
1. I don’t know the requestor well
2. I don’t know the beneficiary of the request well, or at all
3. My time is limited, and doing such things is not on my priority list, even if it seems important to the requestor
4. The last thing I want is more stress from having to live up to additional expectations of carrying out the favour to someone else’s tastes
5. The requestor is presumptive in attitude, or tries to make me feel guilty for not helping.
I also say no to last-minute social invitations which require me to reschedule my plans and compromise on other obligations.
There are so many more compelling things on my To-Do list like learning new skills, doing research on trends, personal administration, spending time with other people… that it doesn’t make sense to bite off more than I want to chew, for something that doesn’t matter as much to me as it does to the requestor.
I still like helping people, but it really has to be within reason. In essence, saying No is about enforcing one’s boundaries, managing time and also people’s expectations.