VanPod III retires after hardware coup

The history of the VanPod royal family has been a tumultuous one.
The first VanPod was established in 2004. Its reign lasted over a year until it died, of premature old age. A detailed autopsy was performed and captured in photographs.
Its successor VanPod II had the extra ability to display photographs. However, this didn’t mean a thing after a scandal in the Hardware Ministry, which rendered the entire Administration useless. The perpetrators were unable to be identified, even after a thorough AppleCentre Orchard inquiry. VanPod II was duly returned to its Maker while a search for a new leader took place.
After a few weeks of political uncertainty, a replacement, VanPod III, was installed. It contained the same characteristics as its immediate predecessor. It performed its duties faithfully, until September 2006 when it started to display signs of mental instability – namely, an unhappy face.
As news broke in the kingdom, citizens questioned the ability of VanPod III to perform its duties. Members of the main opposition party proposed a new leader for election – a broader-minded model with the magical ability to display moving images with sound. Its supporters said it also had ‘more drive’ and thus had a greater capacity for ruling the kingdom.
The second largest opposition party nominated a more slight candidate who could appear in costumes of various colours, namely silver, pink, blue, green and black.
As debate raged hotly among Parliament members, VanPod III underwent medical treatment by the royal family doctor and was cured. Snap elections were held, and VanPod III was restored to power.
All was well until this October morning, when VanPod kept skipping tracks without producing any sounds. The unhappy demeanour was once again displayed, and this time the illness could not be cured by the royal family doctor, who declared that VanPod III was no longer tractable. Listening to VanPod III’s heart, a small, regular thudding sound was heard. Its heart was alive, but its brain was dead.
VanPod III was rushed to AppleCentre Orchard for treatment this afternoon. Attempts to revive its unhappy body were futile. The diagnosis? Another failure in the Hardware Ministry.
However, as VanPod III was still covered by life insurance, the Centre was obliged to provide a replacement. As news broke, a bloodless coup took place as army generals stormed the VanPod family palace and dissolved Parliament. Citizens, already used to the frequent political instability, posed for photographs beside uniformed guards.
The two main opposition parties continued the clamour for a brand new leader which was not directly descended from the makes of VanPod II and III, as they seemed to display “genetic deficiencies”.
The parties have been organising protest marches, chanting statements such as “Videos!” and “Colours!” respectively. Even with the arrival of VanPod III’s direct successor, which is estimated in the next 2-3 weeks, there are questions as to whether the new King’s reign will be short-lived as well.
Meanwhile, compact discs have returned to fashion in the kingdom of Van.


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