After a packed itinerary this morning and afternoon, I went home with the intention of doing some work. Now I seldom, if never, bring my work home, because I believe that if I organise my time properly there’d be no such need to do so.
This time, however, I thought I’d better make an exception because I had a tight deadline to meet. But it was not meant to be. My files wouldn’t transfer to my PC (yet another configuration problem). So I was at home, by myself, and suddenly I had nothing to do. I was tired. I didn’t want to fix my laptop. I didn’t want to revise my IT notes. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but I had to do something. I even tried to sleep, but couldn’t.
I felt empty. And unbearably lonely.
Then I picked up my Bible. The book was open at James, which we’re now covering at Bible Study class. I left it untouched for days, too busy with my own selfish activities. If nothing else will heal me, God will, I thought.
I started to read where I last left off.
I kept on reading. And as I read, my life started to make sense to me again. And though I’ve known it for some time, I needed a void to make me realise for myself that nothing can substitute God in my life. He has given me renewed hope, at a point in my life when nothing is for certain.
I say nothing is for certain, in the spirit of James 4:13 (Do Not Boast About Tomorrow), because we cannot assume that certain things will happen tomorrow. It is only by God’s will that it is so. Taken further: I should not be angry at the helpless situation I often find myself in, because it is man-made, and therefore temporal.
Thus, I can only trust in God to lead me on to new heights. His presence has guided me and some close friends for the past week, and I believe He does have a purpose for me. We shall wait and see.