A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says, “Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question”.
Do you get the joke? >;-) It’s got nothing to do with paedophiles BTW.
Comments
which came first! HAHA!
Yes, you’re right! Well done! 😀
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were
swimming round in the sea – one called Justin and the other called
Christian.
The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks
that patrolled the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian,
“I’m bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark,
then I wouldn’t have any worries about being eaten…”
As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a mysterious
cod appears and says, “Your wish is granted”, and lo and behold,
Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam
away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.
Time went on (as it invariably does…) and Justin found himself
becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam
away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn’t realize that his
new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While out
swimming alone one day he sees the mysterious cod again and can’t
believe his luck. Justin figured that the fish could change him back
into a prawn.
He begs the cod to change him back so, lo and behold, he is turned
back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin
swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. Looking
around the gathering at the reef, he searched for his old pal.
“Where’s Christian?” he asked.
“He’s at home, distraught that his best friend changed sides to the
enemy and became a shark”, came the reply. Eager to put things right
again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian’s
house. As he opened the coral gate the memories came flooding back.
He banged on the door and shouted, “It’s me, Justin, your old friend,
come out and see me again. Christian replied “No way man, you’ll eat
me. You’re a shark, the enemy and I’ll not be tricked.”
Justin cried back “No, I’m not. That was the old me. I’ve changed”…
…”I’ve found Cod, I’m a prawn again Christian”
20 WAYS TO BE A WOMAN
1. Bitch
2. When asked “Is something bothering you?” reply “no”
then get pissed off when you are believed.
3. Become attracted to someone because he is outgoing
and loves parties, start dating him, and immediately
expect him to stop this behaviour.
4. Always take an hour longer than promised to prepare
for the evening.
5. Always hide very important events in very
unimportant terms so you can have something to be
pissed about when our boyfriend declines because he
has pressing business, i.e. You say “It’s no big deal,
but I was wondering if you would like to visit my
parents with me if you are not busy this weekend.”
when you mean “It means a great deal to me for you to
see my family with me this weekend whether or not it
is possible!”
6. Whine
7. If you are trying to sleep, it’s because you’re
exhausted from your almost super-human level of daily
achievement; if he is trying to sleep it’s because he
is lazy.
8. No matter what the activity, he doesn’t do it as
well as a past boyfriend.
9. If he pays attention to you, he is smothering you.
10. If he gives you space, he is ignoring you.
11. Complain
12. Hate any bar he likes.
13. Demand to be treated as an equal in everything –
except when paying for meals, airplane tickets,
concerts,
beers, clothes, etc. these are required gifts proving
his love.
14. Declare PMS at any given time. If he is
knowledgeable about your cycle, tell him you’re
irregular from all the
stress of your life (also, see number 7).
15. Remember that ANY woman who so much as stares at
your boyfriend must be labelled a WHORE and your
network of friends must be informed immediately to
spread this as quick as possible.
16. Make his life miserable by making him feel guilty
about doing anything other than catering to your
needs.
17. Break into tears for no apparent reason, then use
number 2.
18. Ask for help in some endeavour then become livid
when it is given.
19. Insinuate yourself into your boyfriend’s group of
friends, break up with him, then make sure you are
present at every gathering for the next month just to
rub it in.
20. Bitch