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My mum, sis and I had lunch at Magma, the German restaurant. While we were deciding what to eat, my mother looked around and commented that this would be a nice place to bring the Tan clan.

We asked how many tables the restaurant could seat, and noted that it could accommodate all 30 of us.

At this point, the waitress was unable to hold back her curiosity, and ventured a question.

“Are you Singaporeans?”

That question was surprising, because we’ve dined out so many times over the decades and nobody’s mistaken us for foreigners. We speak with Singaporean accents (without the Singlish), and we don’t look particularly foreign. And the waitress herself appeared to be a local.

We told her we were Singaporeans. What made her ask that question?

She indicated that not many locals come to this place. Well, that doesn’t make us non-Singaporeans. I’ve dined at Magma for a few years and even had a Christmas dinner with a big group of colleagues (all locals) here.

Later on, I realised the waitress hadn’t completely gotten over the phenomenon of locals wanting to eat at this non-local restaurant.

“Hmm, they have beef tartar on the menu too!” I murmured. “But that’s not really German enough for me.”

“Beef tartar is raw,” interjected the waitress. She meant well but it didn’t seem to register that we were not uninitiated country buffoons.

“I know. I’ve been eating beef tartar for many years,” I replied.

Thereafter, we were left alone, but I could not forget this strong impression the waitress seemed to have - that this was only a place for expats, perhaps, and that local people do not know how to eat this kind of food.

Heard of Oktoberfest?? (yes, that’s more Bavarian, as my German classmates tell me, but the point is that Singaporeans are not all ‘sua koo’)

Overall, it was a most amusing exchange and I hope we have busted all the myths attached to our ‘local’ stereotype :)

I’ve announced my resolutions on this blog before, back in 2006 and 2008. Now it’s time for 2010!

I learned at INSEAD that research has shown that if you plan how to carry out your resolution and tell others about it, you’re more likely to follow through with it. So I will announce how I intend to achieve each resolution as well.

1. Exercise more regularly, and the right way

This is my next step after having lost several kg over the past year. Exercising regularly means I need to change the way I schedule my time, which currently is mostly about work and burning the midnight oil. I will now sleep earlier and aim to go to the gym at least once a week in the early morning. If it works out, I will do this more often.

Exercising smartly is also important, because from experience, I’ve aggravated old joint injuries which then prevent me from exercising for a while until I recover. So it backfires. So I’ve bought a new pair of running shoes to make sure I’m getting the right support, together with warm-up and cool-down exercises.

What helps is that I’m paying a small fortune every month for club membership which I haven’t been using, so going more regularly makes me feel like I’m getting my money’s worth. The key is getting up early enough and having the energy to exercise, shower and head to work thereafter. Failing which, it will have to be an evening activity.

2. Be more strategic in life and in work

My new job requires me to shed all the tactical work I’ve been doing for the past several years. In the big picture of things, doing work that’s very downstream, specialised and operational will make you think in a certain way and that’s not where I want to go. But to do so, I must take a few steps back and think of where the organisation should be headed. Then everything we do must fit into that plan.

This means that work has to be proactive, not reactive; gratification is not immediate nor visible - in fact, many aspects of the work are now intangible. This requires a lot of work because mindsets cannot be changed at once.

This can be applied more broadly to life as well. What do I want to get out of it? What is my purpose on this earth? How do I relate to other people and where things are within my control, how can I improve them?

However, I believe that one requires a certain level of knowledge in a subject (or a certain amount of life experience) before one can think strategically. It doesn’t have to be a lot, but it should be enough to cover all bases so that intuition and creativity can be applied in an appropriate and realistic manner. This may mean getting more relevant exposure, reading up, asking more questions and seeking mentors to provide guidance.

3. Address the root of bad habits to grow closer to God

That’s the most accurate way I can phrase it. Despite improving over the years with guidance and prayers from people, I still have habits that I don’t really want to give up. I’m not sure exactly why, but if I trace the cause of each pattern I will probably find out what I’m yearning for.

And, applying what I’ve been reading from Anthony Robbins’ book, I need to detach ‘pleasure’ from bad things, like procrastinating or being overly critical, and associate positive action with it instead. I can start by mapping out every problem, one by one, and writing down a solution per problem.

So that’s my 3 big resolutions - easy to say but they cover a wide area of my life. I hope to

I dwell within a Realm. I undertook a mission, and chose the path less travelled. I soon found myself at a fork. There were two main choices: a Garden, which was familiar and inviting, and a Tunnel, which was mysterious and challenging. Many inviting things could be grown in the Garden - all varieties of flora and fauna. Yet the Tunnel was the source of wisdom, through which all decisions in the Realm would be made.

So I chose to stretch myself, and began my unfamiliar journey through the Tunnel, getting my knees and hands dirty in the process. I started to love the Tunnel because there were lights to guide me. Then the light nearest to me flickered, causing shadows to rise, and I started to doubt its consistency.

Yet in the midst of my disappointment, I realised there was still the ultimate Light, shining at the end of the Tunnel. It provided the direction that all of us had to take in order to reach our destination. I realised I should not be disheartened even if the halfway point had dimmed. All the more now I must take on the challenge and strengthen myself, so that I can faithfully follow the wisdom of the Light and lead others along with me.

At the same time, I envisioned the Garden I once lived in. It beckoned to me again, just like it did years ago when I first arrived in this strange realm. I considered returning to pluck its fruit - not exactly of the forbidden variety, but tempting enough. This time, the fruit in question dangled much higher than the ones I gathered before - a tougher call, but surely, within my reach?

But I shut those thoughts out, knowing that once I chose the path of the Tunnel, I should not return to the Garden. In all the Realms, there are many more such Gardens now, and even more Gardeners who can take care of it. So it is time I found new territory to conquer.

The Garden and the Tunnel do not appear to be related, but they are. The Tunnel is the focal point of all the other lands in the Realm. It was designed to penetrate new worlds and expand the Realm through the leadership of the Light. However, in order to be recognised for its worth, the Tunnel must address the challenges that lie within itself, so that it does not cave in.

The Light at the end is seen by all, and revered by many. The Light has always been around me, although I never noticed its presence at first. It used to hover around me from time to time, guiding me even while I was in the Garden, though I never appreciated it in its fullness. I moved closer to the Light - thinking I would be blinded - but instead I have become enlightened and inspired. My desire is with the Light; to be like the Light.

The Light exposes goodness as well as areas of weakness on everything it shines upon. But one should not run away from the Light because it is there to help us. I have turned to the Light for guidance on the uncertainties faced within the Tunnel. The Light has taught me to observe what is truth and what is simply perception. And this is what I will be doing for the weeks to come, so that I can discern between the obstacles and the stepping stones.

New Balance running shoes, new state of mind

I headed to the New Balance store at Novena Square today to get a new pair of exercise shoes. I got onto the treadmill and walked slowly. Apparently my arch collapses when I walk, which sounds like a terrible condition, but I was told that many Asians have this problem as well.

I tried on a few pairs of shoes that had extra stability, and settled on the most comfortable pair. Then I was put onto the treadmill again, but this time I was asked to run.

Apparently, when most people run, they land on their heels first. When I run, however, I land on my toes.

“That’s how a sprinter runs,” said the shoe shop assistant, who was analysing my moves.

Indeed, I was propelling myself forward, as if I was running a race. No wonder that in school, I was always better at short-distance bursts, but less comfortable with longer distances.

It brought back memories of the time when I was shortlisted for the ACJC track and field tryouts. (At this point, those who know me well have every right to fall off their chairs and go, “Huhhhh?? Vanessa can run???”)

It began with a PE (Physical Education) lesson when my class was pitted against other classes in a race. I was part of the girl’s team. Miraculously, our team came in first, and people told me I could run very fast! I was amazed. I thought it was actually due to good teamwork - everyone in my team was generally fast, we passed the baton efficiently, and other classes had slower individual runners, so we pipped them in the end.

Later, I was approached by a PE teacher who asked me to try out for the track and field team (!!!). They even gave me a number, printed on cloth, which I had to pin onto my shirt. I was psychologically prepping myself up for the race.

Then I saw how fast the girls who were already in the track and field team were. Thinking I would malu (embarrass) myself, I backed out of the tryouts. How could I possibly make it to the ACJC track and field team?!

Anyway, because I backed out, I never knew for sure if I had a chance - though if you could send me back in time, I still think I wouldn’t have been fast enough. Good enough for class competitions perhaps, but not at school level, and certainly not at national level. This sounds like fodder for an Anthony Robbins motivational story.

Nevertheless, this shopping outing has made me rethink how I frame my abilities. What was the harm of taking part in the tryouts? At the most I would have fallen down and come in last. At best I might have surprised myself and made it to the team.

What I can do in future, though, is to remember this incident and frame new experiences more positively, so I won’t give up before making the first attempt.

Lately, I’ve received a series of compliments that I would previously not expect. While unusual, these compliments are certainly not unwelcome ;-) and I hope to be deserving, and to receive more, of them.

This week over lunch, a colleague complimented me on my posture as I left our restaurant. It was partly because I was making a conscious effort to walk more gracefully and slowly. So I thought it was a one-off incident. But my colleague added that she and another colleague have sometimes admired my posture as I walked past their cubicles.

Yesterday evening, a senior English lady who recently joined my bible study group, said to me, “Are you a lawyer?” (note: that in itself is not necessarily a compliment!)

That drew a few looks of surprise among bible study mates who did know of my law background. How did this lady, who barely knows me, notice that?

I told her I did have a law degree, but did not practise law. “What gave you the impression that I was a lawyer?” I asked, hoping that it wasn’t because I was speaking in a legalistic or argumentative way.

She said it was the way I spoke, slowly and in an organised way, that showed a certain kind of training. I was amused as I usually speak quickly. But I’ve found that my ideas are accepted more often now, at work, among friends and at bible study.

Over the last few months, I have received compliments from the junior ranks up to senior management, on how I have ‘changed’, or specifically, ‘transformed’. It is partly due to our caring and friendly work environment that encourages such feedback to be given in the first place. But hanging around good-looking and well-dressed people at INSEAD also compelled me to update my wardrobe eventually - especially since my old clothes have become too loose anyway.

Most of my good friends would be surprised to read this, knowing my usual pace of speaking and how I usually walk. I’d say some things about me are changing, possibly due to some senior influence in my new job. And if it’s for the better, as it appears to be, then I welcome these changes and hope to improve further.