Muddy patches? Bad refereeing? I'll throw another conspiracy theory into the works: David Beckham may not realise it, but his teams' (England, Real Madrid) recent poor performances could be for more personal reasons than you think.
You see, back in Manchester United, he was still with a woman called Victoria. That's why they kept on winning.
Then when he left for Spain, he ended up with a woman called Loos.
And as for the slips on pitch? Well, he is the skipper after all...
Ha ha! Excellent observation, my dear namesake...just spot-on.